Principal for the Day Read online

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Copyright Page

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  Teaser chapter

  For Nina, of course.—AJS

  Thanks as always to everyone at Penguin: Francesco Sedita, Bonnie Bader, Caroline Sun, Scottie Bowditch, and my editor, Jordan Hamessley, and also, of course, to Doreen Mulryan Marts, who draws Frannie just like I’d pictured her. Your support and enthusiasm is unparalleled! To Julie Barer, who negotiates like nobody’s business and to my family and friends for their support. And of course to my nieces and nephews: Maisie, Mia, Lili, Adam, and Nathan, without whom I’d have lost touch long ago with the bane and beauty of kid linguistics.—AJS

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  Text copyright © 2011 by AJ Stern. Illustrations copyright © 2011 by Penguin Group (USA) Inc. All rights reserved. Published by Grosset & Dunlap, a division of Penguin Young Readers Group, 345 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014.

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  Library of Congress Control Number: 2010050520

  ISBN : 978-1-101-53538-7

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  CHAPTER 1

  On Monday at exactly noon o’clock, our teacher, Mrs. Pellington, took us to the auditorium. She said there was a special surprise coming, but when we got there, we only saw other kids. It is a scientific fact that seeing other kids at school is not a surprise.

  Once we got settled, Principal Wilkins came out onstage, and that is when everyone got very excitified. This is because hearing special news is like opening a present. You know it is going to be very good, but you don’t know what it is until all the paper is off.

  “I know you’re going to want to hear this announcement! This isn’t something you want to miss,” Principal Wilkins called out, waving his arms in the air. Then he went over to the microphone and spoke right into the silver ball of it.

  “If I can have your attention, please!” he yelled. “I have some news you’ll want to hear.” And that is when everyone got quiet.

  “In honor of American Education Week, Chester Elementary is starting a tradition. From now on, we will hold a contest every year to decide which lucky student will be Principal for the Day—”

  When he said this, almost everyone flew out of their seats and through the ceiling. That is how amazingish we felt to hear this news.

  Then he had to wave his hands again to get us to be quiet. “To enter the contest, each student must submit a composition that best explains why he or she wants to be Principal for the Day. The student with the best essay wins!”

  One composition is not very much. I knew certainly that I could write at least forty-five compositions about jobs and why I wanted them. I could also write forty-five compositions about why Principal for the Day was the most amazing day my ears had ever heard of.

  When I looked at my best friend Elliott’s face, I knew he agreed. He didn’t even have to agree with his words or even a nod of his head. His eyes were so wide-openish I could see right into his brain thoughts, and his brain thoughts were, Principal for the Day is the most amazing day my ears have ever heard of. Elliott and I agree on almost everything. That is why we are best friends.

  “Now,” Principal Wilkins continued, “don’t think this is an easy job. You’ll have to do actual work. There will be a list of tasks for you to follow. If you follow them well and complete your job to my satisfaction, there is another prize waiting for you.”

  When he said another prize, everyone got excited again.

  “At the end of the winner’s special day, he or she will give a presentation to the entire school about what it was like being Principal for the Day.”

  My ears were so excited that I thought they were going to fall out of my head and roll across the floor. I could already see myself up on the stage wearing my principal suit and carrying my principal briefcase.

  “Your compositions are due on my desk by nine AM next Monday morning,” Principal Wilkins told us. Even though that was one entire week away, I knew I could write my composition by tomorrow at 6:00 AM!

  “When do we find out if we won?” someone in the very back yelled at the top of his yelling voice.

  “After I’ve read all the compositions, I will come to the winner’s classroom and make the announcement,” Principal Wilkins continued. “Let’s try and raise our hands when we have questions from now on, please.”

  I looked around the rest of the room, and that’s when I realized how many compositions Principal Wilkins would have to read. There were probably four hundrety kids in this room. If I wanted to win, I had to work really hard on this composition. There is nothing in the world that I want more than an office. And an assistant. And the chance to hold my very own assembly. Onstage. At a podium. Talking into the silver ball of a microphone.

  CHAPTER 2

  “I’m home!” I yelled to my mother as I ran straight into my office, which is actually a desk in my bedroom.

  “Hi, home!” my mom yelled, teasing me because I said I was home, when really I am Frannie!

  I pulled out my sharpest pencil and my most professional-looking paper. The kind that did not have any holes on the side. Then I set out to write the best composition of foreverteen.

  I stared at the blank paper and when no words filled my brain screen, I decided my pencil could be sharpier. I sharpened it and then tried again. Still nothing came into my brain. Why did I want to be Principal for the Day? I am not a specialist in answering about whys. I am much better at answering whats, but this was not a what thing. It was a why thing, and I was stumpified.

  Sometimes when my brain won’t do what I need it to, I send it on a vacation. It’s a scientific fact that when I need to think of something, my brain thinks better when I’m not using the thinking part. Which is a for instance of why I started hula-hooping.
I did about four bachillion roundy-rounds when I got a geniusal idea for my composition! I ran over to my desk and started writing as fast as I could before all the words leaked out of me.

  PRINCIPAL FOR

  THE DAY COMPOSITION

  by MRS. FRANKLY B. MILLER

  I am a person who loves jobs and offices. I already have a résumé, which is a list of all the places I’ve worked. I even have business cards. I have never been a principal of a school, not even for a day. The reason that I want to be Principal for the Day is that I am a really helpful kind of person. And I know principals are helpful, because Principal Wilkins has helped me with a lot of things. A for instance about this happened last year. I could not remember the order of the planets. Principal Wilkins said if I make a sentence with words beginning with the first letter of each word I need to remember, I will remember what I keep forgetting. And that is true because I still remember the order of the planets (Sun, Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune!) because of this sentence: So Many Very Early Mornings Just Smiling Until Night. I told everyone in my class about this trick, and when it came time to recite the order of the planets in front of our class, everyone remembered! All because of Principal Wilkins’s good idea.

  Another for instance about this job that I think is very important has to do with caring about other people. Even people you don’t know! Every year Principal Wilkins has us bring in toys for children who don’t get presents with their Christmases. Then we wrap them up really funly and send them to the kids. When they write us thank-you notes, the biggest ball of happiness fills my stomach.

  I love that feeling so much. I would love to do something like this, but not this exact thing, because Principal Wilkins already does it. Maybe I would have everyone bring in a sweater for people who get cold but don’t have warm things! Then, when I got their thank-you letters, I would get a warm ball feeling in my belly because I would know they were not cold anymore.

  These are the things I would do as Principal for the Day. Even if I don’t get this job, this is a for instance of something I would like to do, anyway.

  After thirteenish years, I was finally done, and I ran downstairs to the kitchen to show my mom. She held it in her own hands and read it very carefully. When her eyes crinkled at the corners and she had smile curls, I knew it was a geniusal composition. I’m very smart about smile curls.

  “Frannie, you have the biggest heart in America,” my mom said. “This is an excellent composition. Whether or not you win, I think you should be very proud of yourself. I, for one, am VERY proud of you.”

  “Really?” I asked. I felt a lot of pride-itity that my mom thought that.

  “Without question, this is the best composition you have ever written,” she said.

  “Dinner in ten minutes, okay?” she said, handing me back my contest composition. I nodded, too smiley to say anything, and then ran back to my room. I opened the top right drawer of my desk, which is where I keep all my office supplies, and pulled out my most serious-looking pocket folder. I put my contest composition in one inside pocket. Then I opened the bottom right desk drawer, which is where I keep all my jobbish things, and pulled out my résumé and a business card. I put those in the other pocket. Then I went back to the office supply drawer and pulled out a large business envelope and slipped the folder inside. The business envelope is the exact color of mustard, which is a very grown-up thing to like. Ketchup is too kiddish. That is why they don’t make business envelopes in the color of ketchup. After I sealed the envelope shut, I got my fanciest silver pen and wrote across the front:MRS. FRANKLY B. MILLER,

  FUTURE (?) PRINCIPAL

  FOR THE DAY.

  CHAPTER 3

  That week was the slowest week I have ever lived in my whole life. It took eighteen-fifty days for next Monday to come.

  When I got to school Monday morning, everyone in my class was very run-aroundy. Mrs. Pellington said we had to be very settled before she collected our Principal for the Day compositions. I settled very fast because I wanted her to collect my composition first. When you are the very first of anything, everyone knows how seriousal you are.

  However and nevertheless, she did not collect my composition first, and that is why a big disappointment puddle formed at my feet. But then you will never believe your ears about what happened next! Mrs. Pellington asked for a volunteer to bring the compositions down to Principal Wilkins’s office. Everyone’s hands were in the air, and Mrs. P. chose my exact hand actually!

  After putting my composition on top, I ran down the hall as fast as I could. I waved to Cora, Mr. Wilkins’s assistant, as I passed her desk and walked into Mr. Wilkins’s office.

  I could not even believe my eyes when I saw Mr. Wilkins sitting at his desk, already going through a pile of Principal for the Day compositions!

  Did everyone wake up at zero o’clock in the morning so they could hand theirs in first? That’s when I remembered about standing out. My dad says it’s important to stand out in business. You don’t want to be like everyone else or no one will remember about you. That is why I decided to use my English accent. When you are British sounding, people take you very seriously, and right then I needed to be taken very seriously.

  “Gewdd moneng to you, Principull Wilkunns. Puleeze accept my resoomay and compazisssion fawh the kahntest!”

  Then I handed him my class’s pile of compositions with my mustard-colored envelope right on top. He looked very impresstified with my accent.

  “Irish?” he asked.

  “English,” I corrected.

  “Ah! Okay. Good choice. Thank you very much, Frances.”

  “You are certainly and honestly welcome, Principal Wilkins.”

  The rest of the day went by so slowly I could feel my own body grow, which is not something you are supposed to feel apparently. Apparently is a grown-up word I use when I am talking about things I don’t have scientific facts about.

  I tried to pay attention in all my classes, but I could not stop thinking about if Principal Wilkins was reading my composition at that very exact minute. I could tell everyone else was wondering the same thing, too.

  Elliott was jumping his knees up and down, which he does only when he’s nervous. Millicent, who’s always reading, was looking up from her book toward the classroom door every few minutes. And if you don’t already know this about Millicent, there isn’t much that can make her look up from a book. That is how much she loves to read, actually and as a matter of fact.

  At lunch, Elliott, Elizabeth, Millicent, and I stood in line together for tacos. I am a person who likes crunchy foods, which is a for instance of why I love school tacos. They are the hard shell kind. When I crunch down on something and it makes that loud cracking noise, I feel very professional and adult, indeed.

  “If I win, I am going to turn the cafeteria into a hair and beauty shop,” Elizabeth told us. I did not prefer this idea because no one serves crunchy food in a hair shop!

  “Where will we eat?” Elliott asked.

  Elizabeth shrugged. “Somewhere else. That’s not part of my job,” she said, which was not a scientific fact. Plus and besides, Principal Wilkins was never going to let Elizabeth open a hair and beauty shop because that didn’t have anything to do with school.

  “I would get rid of all the classes, and we would learn just by spending the whole day, every day, in the library reading,” Millicent said. This sounded really boring, but it also made my stomach flop over a little because I worried Principal Wilkins would give her the job.

  “If I win,” Elliott said, “I would give the job to Frannie and be her assistant.” I looked at Elliott with the biggest surprise of life in my eyeballs.

  “You would?” I asked.

  “Of course,” he said.

  “Thank you, Elliott,” I said, feeling very big with happiness about what he just said. “I would let you be the coprincipal with me.”

  “Really?” he asked.

  “Indeed and neverthe
less,” I told him.

  “Why would you do something like that?” Elizabeth wanted to know.

  “Because Frannie really wants the job, and I’m not as workerish as she is,” he explained.

  Millicent and Elizabeth nodded because they understood. Everyone knows how workerish I am. It’s just one of those scientific facts about me.

  That was when I filled up with a secret, horrendimous worry that Elizabeth or Millicent might win Principal for the Day. I would have been happy for them, I guess. But I did not prefer that to happen.

  After lunch we had a spelling bee, and I waited for Principal Wilkins to announce the winner, but he didn’t come! He didn’t come during science or math or even during art! How many hours does it take to read twenty-hundred compositions? If I got to be Principal for the Day, I was going to be much faster at reading compositions than Principal Wilkins was. When the entire school day finished and Principal Wilkins still hadn’t come to our classroom, I decided that I was also going to be a much faster winner picker than he was.

  CHAPTER 4

  You will not even believe your ears about what happened next. The next morning when I walked into my classroom, the first person I saw was Principal Wilkins! He was standing right next to Mrs. Pellington! Even though I felt very run-aroundy, I settled into my seat because I could not wait to hear about the winner. Everyone else did the same thing when they got to class. Elizabeth sat down so fast that she didn’t even take her coat off!

  “Hello, kids,” Principal Wilkins said. His hair looked extra black and shiny, and his tie looked very straight and professional.

  “I read a lot of compositions for the Principal for the Day contest. There were so many good ones to choose from. This was not an easy decision by any means.”